Bourgeoisie

hi once again,

i wonder why there is always a season for heartbreak. Is it like fashion, where trend goes around and it always hit people at a particular time? i swear that the people around me are getting all bruised by relationship problems. all at the same time.

i might say that i get affected by people around me. Even though i cant really say that i feel the similar heartache, but i do feel glum. It makes me lose faith in the word 'relationship'. This word holds such a heavy meaning; bounded by committment and trust. But people abuse it. They use that word as frivolently as 'fashion'. Then again, society is not going to change by my mere words. Men are still going to follow the rules of the modern society. And in order to be partial, women too. Women are becoming samanthas in SATC or friends in L word. All we can do is to shrug our shoulders and sigh at how relationships have become. And maybe that is the reason why i am still reluctant to commit myself in a 'relationship'. The word that i want to preserve. The sacred word. The promise that i am going to make in the future.

Old-fashioned me you may say. But i would think that it is my principle not to get into a short-term relationship. It is a waste of time and effort.

Anyway, i just went for Fashion Aid, the one that is aired on Australian TV. It was quite an eye opener. Seeing models change backstage, managers and backstage crew hurling vulgarities into their portable walkie-talkies, while holding the free champaigne. The nerve-wrecking experience of walking the walkway (trust me, just walking alone is nervewrecking). Dancing is actually less scary then walking.

And we met this designer that does clothes for PussyCatDolls and famous international models. He is pretty funny and theres actually a possibility that he is on something (ahem). Got a bit drunk because of the free drink cards. And i can actually say that i modeled for Travisty and Gstar. How cool.

Back to reality, i have another essay to go, and three papers. But reality has been very kind to me, because i am planning to go phuket and US this coming holiday! Photo time! Wish me luck!

I will be on fashionTV! woohooo!!! my cheap-thrilled 6 minutes worth of shared fame. But it doesn't matter because it is still Foxtel anyways - it is an equivalent to our Singapore's cablevision. i think.

After rethinking what i want in life, i realised that i really like to be in a glam job. say what you like, but i am indeed intrigued by the media industry. Because of the other serious side of me always causing me to divert my attention to careers such as law, finance etc, but advertising and PR is my first love. And after going round and round in circles, i think i am still back at where i was. And i appreciate it. i like the fact that i can bring art and creativity into my work, i love the fact that they give awards to good ad campaigns. i love the wit and quirkiness, the crazy people in the company, the drive, the colours, the fact that we must know everything and anything. And i am glad that i share similar career likings to 2 of my besties.

Now, the next step is to figure out how to work towards my goal.

I will be getting my keys next week!! my new apartment just opposite DFO, how cool is that! its my time to deco and put in my creativity into a living space. Totally have no experience but it will defo be fun! I most look for art pieces but still looking for one.. boo~

OMG, GMAT is on friday and i am freaking hell not prepared at all. Seriously, i don't understand why can't we just do what we like? why must we QUALIFY to do what we like? And it may sound really weird and slightly perverted, but i do want to keep learning; the more challenging it is, the better it gets. Maybe people do have vices, and my vice is to learn and to participate. This revelation is not that groundbreaking new, but it is definitely something that teaches me about myself. Knowing myself so that i can love myself.

My first class in photography was okay, but next week is going to be better. and i am really excited to read all about my new DSLR, see the functions and play around with it. Oh boy, i am becoming like a man, and i feel it myself. My new found love for gadget and cars, how male can a female get. Then again, it is a sweeping statement because there should not be a gendered activity. Why can't males like dressing up or gossiping (which i realise boys are increasingly capable of just that)? I love studying and knowing more about gender studies, but in my own time.

I brought my lomo cam into the developing place, and oh boy! i was so silly! i actually didnt know there are cheaper alternative. Dumbo! Anyway, i really can't wait to see my work. I hope my Diana+ didnt have any weird tantrums. i am planning to get more gadgets too, to spice up my photos. It is actually amazing how a plastic thing can produce such nice artwork!

i am so freaking sleepy right now, i am not joking. oh gosh, and i still want to do some GMAT prep, read my photography manual, research on roadtrips, body modifications, etc. I SHOULD JUST FUCKN SLP.

okay i am lazy to count how many months and weeks i have actually missed remembering, and looking back at my last blog post, i am appalled by the amount of mistakes i made!! sorry guys, you must be wondering what has happened to me, well, its because of speed blogging while traveling. So well, 10 weeks. Many ups and downs, what's new. But, major events did happen. like, a burglar tried to break into my house, but thank god for leah, she kinda freak him out. LOL. but so sry leah, he freaked you out too. Since then, i stayed at home more and is turning into a homebody. right.

fast forwarding, i got a wrangler rubicon jeep now! how cool is that?!!?!?!?!?!? i am such an ironic person. i like beauty but do not see the need to look perfect. i like dancing hip hop (love dance!) but is not educated with the music. i am considered a girly-girl but has the mentality of a man. i may appear child-like at times, but people tell me that i have an 'old' mindset. Okay enough about me!





imagine it being black with silver chromed 'steps'. really pimp-y.

and within these 10 weeks, i changed my hairstyle. i dyed my hair and got myself bangs. received good comments, and photos will not be uploaded, just go see fb if you have the curiosity itch.

and thats all that i am going to type. i wasted today doing nothing, urgh, i hate it when this happens. My principle is: Every day must be well spent, no room for regrets!

DANCE HARD


xo

Hi peeps!


A shout out all the way from London! Doing still fine, this place is full of people, travellers of all shapes and sizes, languages and habits. And boy, i realise that we Asians are much cleaner. (shhh, juz personal thought on what i saw here) i dun understand how they can spread their bread on the dining table that is shared and used by lxjfnjsldjfnjo million of people. and talking about this place me and ning had to stand in the rain for half and hour becuase a bloody childish irresponsible person went to play with the fire alarm. and we can to be evacuated even though there was nothing! AHHHHH! but its quite funny when you see people cheering for the firemen. a parade on the streets.

Anyway went to Camden Market and it dawned into us that we are not rich enough to buy whatever we wanna buy. And every single time we convert back to SGD, our heart will plunge. BOOOO! But stil, we got some stuff. HEHE. AND THE THING IS, WE HAVEN EVEN BEEN TO HARRODS, TOPSHOP FLAGSHIP, OXFORD STREET. oh man,


i guess i may have to stay here to wash disshes. so see you in 10 years time.


luvsya peeps.


xoxo

Yes, my subject heading sounds like a primary school essay question. But anyhoo, it was my 21st week and boy did i enjoy myself, on the expense of failing my last exam. I only get to celebrate 21st once so, who cares. On the day itself i went to a 3 hats dinner place called Jacques Reymond and i felt like a princess. Their service was excellent and i even got to take a photo with Jacques Reymond himself. The old victorian mansion was beautiful and we took tons of pictures in the courtyard. i love the interior of the mansion and i can so imagine how it will be like if it is a house.

And later in the week i had my 21st cowboy themed party at home. i am really eternally grateful to my lovely darlings (committee members) who helped so much in planning and setting up the place. It was really beautiful and my dance friends were all quite touched cuz i told them that cuz my lovely darlings know that we are dancers so they had the dancefloor set up for us. AWWWW. Thanks Marcus for organising the game and setting up the BBQ, thanks gary too. Everybody did their part to make this party/gathering a success. And i am really happy. This year will be a good year.(photos can be seen in FB)

i am getting really tired, falling asleep once i stop doing things. i guess my health is rebelling against my lifestyle. But there are just too many things to do. Or maybe i am just too independent, that sometimes i stretch my limit and i forget to ask for help. i assume i can handle things myself but its not always the case. i force myself to achieve in the expense of my health. Not only physical health but emotional health. i would like to know a person whom i can lean on, whom i can achieve things with. But, at the same time, i am emotionally drained by my own independence. It has been too long that i am fighting alone, and i don't see a need to have that somebody to fight with me, or to protect me. i don't see a need because of my independence, but i know deep down somewhere, hidden in a little closet, that i do need help. i need someone to break that ice locked emotions. But it is going to be VERY difficult. because, i am a difficult person. i am a fighter for myself. i am a lover of myself. and i am in denial.

okay, enough of the heavy thought. i love my house and i cant wait to make it nice looking and homely. :D and oh boi, how cute can it be if i have a puppy. :D:D:D
BTW, i saw a rat in my garage today. Who says i don't need a man in the house, i was screaming my hearts out like a middle age wife. FFFFFFFF i was really scared.

But yeah, i handled it. i always do. sigh.

xoxo

I am,

1) thinking about how to invest in food agricultural and production related industries and tap its financial markets
2) checkin out landscaping companies to do up my OMG weed-den.
3) eating, whats new.
4) how much money to bring to my trippie


EVERYTHING! CEPT MY RESEARCH ON FRIGGIN POLITICS.

Ready to flung, too pumped up for 21st. have no idea why, or maybe i am just not motivated. ah!!!!! and my mummy said she bought me a surprise bday gift. I wonder what it will be. Something small but valuable. HMMMM.. quite excited though, but can only open during my bday party. SO EXCITING. omg i cant contain my excitement. Rodeo mates!

But i realise this year sickoz will not be celebrating with me. humph.. seems like i can rmb all those times with them and they witness my growing up. How i wish their presence can be felt during the 20th in my barn.


i'm rambling.


:D

"Dancers are given the great gift of motion and design. They live holistically, body, mind and spirit moulded into single and continuous acts. Dancers are, as are all artists, made to feel and to make others feel."

- Katherine Dunham

The farewell dinner at Oyster Bar Collins was great. I am falling in love with gastronomic restaurant dinners with friends. Not to mention the amount of money slipping out of my pockets. The little (erm major for now) luxuries of life. Looking at my personality i think i will suit the service industry, you think? Something that deals with entertainment and PR and meeting new people. I really wonder what will happen to all the girls in 10 years time. An exciting but horrifying thought, the fact that my dearest wildboar calls me an auntie makes it worse. But i am savoring my age, my turning 21 and the plans ahead. I am truly lucky and blessed. My friends that did not forget my existence, gr the man, peiru aka freda and many more. i love this moment, i love now.

Term 3 will be another exciting journey, yes, with my last semester in Uni, and the trippie to exotic fiji, diving, Taiwan year end trip, NYC working trip, language school, more dancing and beatphonik, hands are gladly full and my excitement is definitely mounting. year two-0-0-eight is definitely a year to be remembered.


cheers, mate

xoxo